1.) They Don't Trust Them – not just 'them' personally but the whole darn lot, they think their hucksters. I was having tea with someone recently, and she told me about an experience. It went basically like this: met a coach, followed the coach, thought the coach was terrific, did some research and found out the coach was ….well, let's say s t r e t c h i n g their truth.
They had posted about 'manifesting their dream mansion' and in reality lived in a little ol' bungalow. Assuming that a little ol' bungalow was not indeed their dream mansion, (apparently, it was more like a 7 bedroom model home), that is most definitely bad form. Why might someone do this? The most likely reason is that the coach is a human being who has not worked through their own issues. It is not uncommon for people to need to impress others so badly they would pretend, put on masks, or even lie. Paradigms – beliefs that shape our behaviour are deeply embedded in our subconscious and are strong, powerful forces. You can always tell what is happening on the inside of someone by what is happening on the outside.
Posting empty results is an indication of profound emptiness.
Having said that, it brought up paradigms for my friend as well. Our previous experiences are intended to combine with knowledge so that we are wiser, not so that we never do things, try things, or trust again. Painting all life coaches with the same brush is a rash generalization. It is like saying "I had a car that broke down, cars are unreliable, so I don't drive cars."
When we let fear from past experiences stop us, we have limited ourselves and our life.
Instead, it can be an excellent lesson of the importance of doing some research and taking the time to get to know each other before jumping into any relationship.
A life coach becomes an intimate person in your inner circle. Take some time and get to know them. Do they know what they are talking about? Do they live according to their own program? Do they practice what they preach? Do you trust them?
Trust is critical in a successful life coaching partnership. If my client doesn't trust me, and frankly, if I don't trust her, we are not going to be a good fit.
I share myself, my expertise, my strategies, my time, and my personal stories with my clients. I commit to them, I am all in. I need to trust that they are also committed to sharing honestly and doing the work and that they can take the coaching. My approach is always from a place of love, respect, and integrity and I will compassionately call you out if it's needed. If you are stuck in a fear loop, if you are avoiding, procrastinating, or justifying behaviour that doesn't serve your best interest I am here to say exactly that. She has to be able to say when things aren't going as well as she'd hoped or when she doesn't understand something or like it. Trust is a big part of accountability and helps you stay on track.
2.) They Don't Want to Be Told What To Do – A coach does tell you WHAT to do – they better, right?
But they don't dictate HOW you implement it. For example, I will tell you – you need to meditate daily. I'd love if it were 20 minutes on waking, then again midday for another 10 to reconnect, then 20-30 minutes of visualization and meditation before bed. Some of my clients do exactly as 'prescribed'. Others can't get their head around it. And, frankly, there are plenty of days I CAN'T. I can't always make that kind of time in the middle of the day, and sometimes I don't have 20 minutes in the morning. I adapt, and I want my clients to do that too.
If you can do 5 minutes of silent meditation in the morning to generate an intention for your day, and allow your intuition to flow: BOOYAH! (Try this 7 day Journal for Inspiration & Gratitude to get you started.)But don't break the habit of the practice. Always do a meditation in the morning, always let yourself relax at least once during the day and always do a visualization/meditation as you drift off to sleep in the evening. Your mind wants to work for you. You are training it to work in positive ways, that utilize your intellect, wisdom, intuition, and draw from a divine source. You are taking control back.
What I do is set a timer on my phone for times throughout the day that says "let yourself relax". I showed a client this week how to do it. It is set at 10 am, 2 pm and 4 pm: and at each of those times it vibrates and the title is"let yourself relax". When that alarm goes off, I intend to take a 10 minute time out, to rest and relax by doing a breathing meditation. Most days, that is exactly what I do. Some days though, what I am able for is: Breathe in 1,2,3. Breathe Out 1,2,3,4,5,6. I will do that a time or two and then continue with whatever I was engaged in.
The point isn't to do everything correctly, to the letter. The point is to be creative and take whatever suggestions I make (because THEY WORK) and fit them to your life in ways that work for you.
3.) They Are "Too Busy" - I coach executives juggling multiple meetings and entrepreneurs juggling multiple businesses along with single moms trying to care for themselves, their kids, and their ageing parents. I see women who have gone back to school to pursue their passion. At the same time, they continue working full-time at their current job and have passionate, loving relationships. One client is working full-time, taking part-time courses, is a single mom, trying to find a healthy, committed relationship and launch a new business. It is fair to say they are busy. They all have one thing in common with you and me: our day has 24 hours in it. Everyone is running on the same clock, it ticks at the same rate. We cannot control time, we can only control our activities.
Each of us chooses what we do with every second, hour, minute of the day. You might not realize right now that it is a choice, but trust me, it is.
One of the first things we do when we work together is take stock of where you are at and how you are spending your time. Are you letting time tick away passively, or are you in control of the life you are living?
Think of an hourglass. Now imagine the days of your life so far as the sand at the bottom of that glass. How much of life have you been the master of and how much have you been oblivious to? Whether you are paying attention or not, the sand still flows from up above, and the time is always passing.
Isn't it time to start to pay attention and become the one who determines what you do with your precious time? You can make it count. You can stop repeating the same mistakes, and stop having the same regrets. You can stop wishing your life away and start creating the dreams you deeply desire.
Are you too busy to create a life that has meaning to you? During my coaching you learn what your priorities are, and how to focus your attention of the things that matter to you. You learn how to maximize the time you have and get the things done that you want and need to every day. You stop being the reactor and start being the co-creator of your life. Extraordinary lives don't happen by chance. You make them happen.
4.) Don't "have enough money". – One prospective client told me this was the reason she couldn't pursue coaching, right after we scheduled her call for when she returned from her Aspen, ski vacation. No judgment – I'd love to go to Aspen too. Here's the thing, it's not about the money – it's about value. Yes, for sure there are times when we say "I can't afford it" and it means it. When spending money on 'A' means not being able to eat, or have shelter, then that is a genuine "can't". But, often what it means is " I don't value what is being offered enough to put money on it." I mean face it, almost everyone I know has found the money for a cell phone. Generally, they aren't walking around with the same model that they got 10 years or even 2 years ago. Those old flip phones never die, they keep on ringing and texting. What they don't do is look cool or have the latest feature. And most people are willing to find the money for a newer, shinier, fancier model and all the data that goes along with it. Why? Not because we need it, the flip was good enough, because we want it. We value what the new phone brings.
I'm no different. I got a brand spanking new Samsung, for no other reason than my plan said I could. (as an aside, I love the camera and the feature that lets me say "cheese" to take a hands-free photo. How cool is that? ) Now I spend an extra $75 a month on a phone that didn't need replacing. Could I have used that money for something else? You bet if I had seen the value in something else.
So, check-in with yourself. Is your "I don't have the money." really true or are you saying "I need to understand how this is going to get me happier, healthier, or wealthier?" "How will this get me what I want?"
If you don't understand the plan, how your hard-earned money going on life coaching meets your goals, then it's totally understandable that you wouldn't want to part with it. Make sure that who you are working with takes the time to spell it out for you. What can you expect in the first session, the last session and all the in-betweens? Get the plan.
When we work together, I start with assessing where you are at.
You learn how to set healthy, positive goals and how to achieve them and make sure that you are clear on what you really want.
I take you through steps on HOW to go from where you are now, to the result that you desire by using your mind and changing your habits. You have beliefs in the way or else you would already be living the life you want. I show you how to blast those out and replace them with ones in your highest good.
You learn how to develop and use your intuition. We ensure you increase your self-image, this increases your vibration. You learn to operate in alignment with your authentic values. That is how you will attract opportunities and create the results you want.
As we work together, you will make a mindset shift, a total leap from negativity to the mind of a leader. Your confidence will help you make a massive impact in your own life and the lives of others around you.
Finally, I show you how to expand your support base beyond me. You will be ready to shine for yourself and others as a beacon of light.
That is what you can expect when we work together. It is not about just making a call and having a chat. It is about learning how to expand and grow and live life to it's fullest. That is the value of one: one personal coaching with me.
5.) They Aren't Really Ready for Change –
When a person who says they desire to change is not "quite ready" to work with me, as their life coach, one question has to be: do you really want to change? The answer might be, no. It is not easy to change, and one essential ingredient is a deep, burning desire for something else.
Without that, real, lasting change is almost impossible. That deep, emotional connection to your goal is vital. Are you willing to do whatever it takes? Change your habits, your language, people you surround yourself with? It seems like a big ask unless you have a deep, burning passion for the thing you desire. Perhaps it is to write a book, or to start a business, or to earn more money, or to have a relationship…WHY? What will these things bring into your life? What freedom will it give you? Just wanting something is not enough. If you don't know WHY you want it, the work can seem daunting.
When you do know, it is a joy, you are in flow with the Universe. The time, the money that you invest is worth it because you KNOW WHY you are investing in yourself. You know you deserve it.
Another way to make a change is to hit bottom. That is a great motivator. When people have exhausted all options and lost everything or are about to lose everything, then the work required to make a change that once seemed impossible becomes possible. Emotional connection comes from a need to survive either emotionally, physically, financially or spiritually.
Why wait to hit bottom? You can take control of your life. You can become crystal clear about what you want, really want, and why you want it now.
If you are looking for a change and have found yourself struggling with any of these obstacles, it is not uncommon. The thing is, you can decide to keep on doing things the way you are, on your own and you can expect to keep getting the same results or you can start to work with an expert in change and get the results you want.
I'd love you to start seeing better results, getting the promotion you want, discover the passion you've been seeking, make more money, have an exciting relationship. I want you to get more out of life than the same ol', same ol'. I want to work with you and show you exactly how to achieve your dreams. It isn't magic, it's a series of steps and it's a simple, effective process that anyone can master when they know how.
So, let's talk about it. Take that leap of faith and contact me to see if working together is right for you, see the value and see that you are worth the investment.
Please email me to arrange our free 30 minute chat at: firstname.lastname@example.org or book your appointment at: https://www.lifelearningstrategies.com/bookings-checkout/free-30-min-clarity-consultation/book