“The most important thing for me, not in football, in life is courage, honesty, good feelings, friendship. That's the most important thing in life and in football.” - Jose Mourinho, Manager of Tottenham, Spurs
Any of you who know me might find the quote a bit strange. Not because I am a #certifiedlifecoach in Canada and that the speaker is a football (soccer) coach in England but because of the team he coaches. It is not Tottenham but Arsenal Football Club that has my allegiance and folks who know me, know that. I have been known to yell at the television during a game, cheering the players on and giving them some helpful advice about what to do on the pitch. Mainly, get the ball in the net.
So why am I writing about him? I like his style. I recently watched a documentary that follows Mourinho, and the team through an exceedingly difficult season. He stepped in halfway through as a new manager, injury upon injury beset the players and of course the final straw: COVID
19. Yet, all through every challenge, there was an underlying current of hope.
Perhaps he is not a #confidencecoach or #energyhealer, but we have this in common: he is a straight shooter. He also expects more than excellence from himself and everyone around him. If you decide to give less than your absolute best, and then some, you will be benched. He encourages his players to know what they are playing for and it is for the success of the team.
Yes, he wants them to score. Yes, he wants them to do well individually but what he is looking for is passion, and drive, and absolute focus on winning for the team. That means if you can’t score, don’t let the other side score. Whether your title is striker or defender is irrelevant. Your job is about protecting each other, helping each other, being a team. It is about “courage, honesty, good feelings, friendship.”
Relationships can take a lesson from this philosophy. So often when you come to talk to a #personalcoach about relationship struggles, you act as if the goal is to rack up individual points of where you are right and the other is wrong.
When you come for coaching after many difficult seasons in your relationship you too are filled with pain, disappointment, and loss. When you are worn down from repeated times of trying and ‘failing’ it is possible to lose sight of the necessary ingredients for success - in anything: commitment, focus, passion, and most importantly, belief that success is possible.
It takes courage, to be successful in life.
· a willingness to be vulnerable and let your guard down with your partner
· the ability to say “I need you” and to accept that someone “needs you” back
· accepting that you cannot always get your way
· knowing you will find yourself being challenged
· being uncomfortable at times. You will be pushed to the breaking point and want to throw in the towel.
When you hold the conviction, firmly that you are part of something greater, you are not “in it to win it” for yourself, you are in it together. Whatever past seasons may have brought, maintaining honesty, integrity, respect, good intentions, and connection to each other above all else is the top priority in this season. You must forget and forgive the past and fully embrace the present.
If you are ready to resolve your relationship struggles contact me at bennett.lifelearningstrategies today and let’s chat about how.
You will have a FREE 30 minute on-line or tele appointment with one of the #bestlifecoachestoronto and we can immediately make a plan for you to achieve your goals.