"That Discomfort You're Feeling Is Grief"
Scott Berinato has recently published this article highlighting David Kessler's amazing work on a tough subject: grief. Being an expert in grief doesn't sound like much fun and I am sure that it has some very difficult aspects. However, thanks to the work we are allowed a better understanding of ways to cope at the most difficult times of our lives.
And now, as we are experiencing the impact and destruction of Covid19 on individuals, families, whole countries and our entire way of life, we are in one of those most difficult times.
All of us are grieving to some degree.
Some people have lost loved ones, and had to endure it alone. Children have been unable to say goodbye to their elderly mothers and fathers. No gathering of community to mark the passing and join in a celebration of the life lived is possible.
Others have lost their job, at least temporarily and with that an ache of fear and insecurity about what is yet to come.
Students have lost their social, all important friend connection and sense of belonging along with it. The loss of the school year brings it's own set of uncertainties for the path ahead. Plans may need to be deferred or changed completely and to what?
We cannot go for a drive, we cannot go to the movies, we cannot play in the parks, we cannot hug our friends and visit with our neighbours. I have not seen some of my family in much too long, and I am missing my granddaughter speeding through the weeks. I miss the cuddles. I miss touching her little face and playing peekaboo without the use of a video screen in between us.
While we may feel alone in our individual homes, we are all suffering loss, we are all grieving.
The stages are Shock (a new one), Denial, Anger, Bargaining,Sadness and Acceptance. Its good to remember that you will likely move through all of them, in and out, back and forth. Acceptance is not a one-time thing. If we realize this and start to pay attention to our feelings we can take care of our emotions during this difficult time.
Cut yourself some slack. This is not a normal time and you can't be expected to continue as if it is. The measures we take of our performance can be adjusted.
On days when we are in "Sadness", it is unreasonable to expect that we are going to bounce out of bed and tackle a long to-do list. These days it is wonderful if we get up, get showered, get dressed, make our bed, make food, walk the dog, and wash a dish. Let yourself feel it, listen to a sad song, soak in the tub, watch a sappy movie and have a good cry. Success.
"Angry" days, when your partner is blinking too loudly you can be proud of screaming into your pillow, giving it a good old ass-whooping, painting it out, write a poem or in your journal. Wait until you have taken care of you to decide if you need to say something or nothing. Success.
Wherever you are on the spectrum, the key is to be aware that there is a spectrum. Be aware that you are grieving and that you are in the middle of extraordinary times.
All of these feelings are human and normal and not new. Yes, they are intensified now but they don't originate from now. You have felt all of them before and when you are feeling intensely now, some of your old, tender, wounded places are being poked.
We need to feel all our emotions. We don't need to stay stuck in the negative, painful ones. Yes, feel the sadness. Yes, feel the anger. Don't stay in it. We can use the feelings that are coming to the surface in the present to heal. Take a journey back and bring love and light to childhood hurts. We were powerless as small children and even though we have limitations now, we are not powerless.
Return to your inner child with love.
Offer the compassion that is needed and accept yourself with unconditional healing love.
Take some time for yourself to tune in to what you need and then give yourself permission for it.
Take some time for your relationship. Tune in to what you need as a couple and give yourself permission for it.
Meditate. Meditation keeps your mind clear, your heart open and your soul fed.
Create a sacred space in your home to foster your mind, body and spirit connection
Maintain a clear, open flow of energy. Energy is not contained within our physical forms and can be channeled from me to you as a distance Reiki Practitioner.
Talk to someone. Reach out and get help to process your feelings and release negative energy. Don't let the circumstances rob you of your peace, progress and personal growth.
Be willing to go within and feel what you need to feel so that you can heal what you need to heal.
Use this meditation to guide you through a process of healing your inner child.
Link To The Article: you. https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief. Start Heal Your Inner Child Meditation
Fiona Bennett is the owner of Life Learning Strategies, a Certified Inner Workout, Transformational Life Coach, Integrated NLP and Energy Practitioner and an advocate for people making positive change. She works with people who want to feel better, and live better. Fiona teaches you how to remove your negative filters so you can connect with the love and light within. With a clear mind and heart you can create a life of meaning, joy and purpose: a life worth living.
Book your on-line session and begin your transformation now. https://www.lifelearningstrategies.com/programs
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