I Hate to Tell You This But....There is No Handsome Prince
I have a terrible secret and I have to tell you. I guarantee you are not going to like it. I don't like it all the time either. There is no magic pill. There is no magic wand. There is no handsome prince. There is no fairy godmother. If you want what you say you want, then YOU are going to have to get it. YOU are going to have to DO THE WORK.
Sometimes people come to me, to a life coach, or an energy healer because they are hoping that I will fix their life. I will be the magic. But it just ain't so. One of the questions I ask a prospective client is "have you worked with anyone before?" If the answer is yes, that's cool. If the answer is yes, dozens of people and they all failed, then uh, oh, red flag. This is not someone looking to change, this is someone looking to blame their life on other people and I don't want to be next in the long line. I wish them well, and wish them on their way.
My job as your coach is to help you see this. I don't always like this either. I am a person. I have a life and that means, I am the answer to my own problems too. I have my own work to do.
I have a routine that I follow and it involves a morning meditation that lasts anywhere from 10-20 minutes. Usually this is a time for relaxation and intention setting. Sometimes I will choose a grounding meditation or body scan, depending on my mood.
I follow this by writing out a gratitude list. I note 10 things that I am grateful for in my life. Typically there are 4 or 5 things that stay on my list every day and then other ones that vary depending on what is happening in my life at that time. At first, I struggled to come up with 10 things and so I started with the basics: "I am grateful I'm alive", (we all have that), and then all of the amazing things that my body was doing for me to just support that basic fact like: " I am grateful that my heart beats and circulates oxygen to keep my cells healthy and strong." The amazing thing is that the more you are grateful, the more you have to be grateful for. It's weird because you would think it would be the other way around. You would think you'd need things to be grateful for first. Gratitude doesn't work that way. When you are grateful, the list just grows and grows.
Then I focus on my goal. I write it out, I visualize it. I study something for 1 hour. Often it is to do specifically with coaching but sometimes not. Then I write out 3-6 specific actions for my day. I focus on one at a time. When I achieve one, I stop and congratulate myself. I get a snack, go for a walk, make a call. Write something. I look at it and consider myself successful for having achieved that goal. I know it has brought me one step closer to my big goal. That was the point
of it. And it feels good. Then I move on to the next.
A lot of people think that because I'm a coach, I have it all figured out and sorry but that's not true either. I am grateful that I know now much more than I used to. I know for instance, that I don't know everything. LOL. Life is a journey right to the very last breath and along the way we keep on learning. I believe when we have learned all that we are supposed to in this life time the journey is over. So, it is a good thing to be a student, to be curious, to know that there is much yet unexplored and undiscovered. I welcome knowledge and am happy to receive it. My clients are often teachers as much as anyone else and have great wisdom and insight from all their experiences. It is such a blessing to be able to hear and see through the perceptions of other people who I may not have encountered any other way.
One thing I do know, for sure is that if we want change we have to DO SOMETHING to get it. It is true that we alter like the landscape, by erosion, incrementally, almost imperceptably as life wears us down cell by cell. Yes, every 7 years we are in effect brand new. But that is EXISTING not LIVING. I am grateful that I exist. I cherish the cells that are existing passively and all that is going on automatically to sustain me but I want more out of life and I hope you do too.
I hope you want to LIVE, THRIVE, BE EXTRAORDINARY! For that to happen you must take control, and be ACTIVE not passive.
What does that look like?
Well, thankfully, it doesn't have to be all that hard. RELAXING is one of the most important, non-negotiable, first steps to change. Without being able to make the time, and take the time to relax you will not be able to tune in to what you truly want, or why you truly want it. You could end up working for the wrong goal, for the wrong reason. You and I both know those people who push, push, push, work, work, work and end up eventually with a job they hate, a family they never see, resentments and broken promises. They have worked hard but for the wrong reason, and achieved an outcome that has left them less happy, not more. Don't be that person. Learn to relax, tune in and gain clarity.
Hold your VISION once you have it. Having tuned in and gained a clear picture of what you want, write it down. Don't assume that you will remember it. Life happens, and things get blurry. Write out your insights as soon as you get them and then continue to flesh them out with more and more detail every day. Re-visit your vision regularly and add to it with more detail. Paint a vivid picture of the life you want to be living and include the way you want to feel, who you want to spend time with, how you want to make your money, where you want to live and vacation. Be specific and creative. Write it as if you are already living it now, today, in the present moment.
LOVE YOUR VISION with all your heart and soul. think back to when you saw your first love, when you found the first car you ever wanted to own, when you saw your child as it was born. Do you remember the feeling of burning love, deep love, overwhelming love you felt well up in you? Good! Now, keep bringing that feeling up for yourself every day when you imagine the life you want to be living. There are going to be some big changes required of you and some things that you used to do, like watching TV for 4 hours that you just can't do anymore, or binging on pizza & beer that are out the window now. You can definitely kiss the snooze button good bye. You are going to be doing new things. Things that are going to feel uncomfortable for a while. You might be getting up 30 minutes earlier to meditate. You might be writing in your journal instead of watching TikTok. So, you better fall IN LOVE with why you are doing it. When you are passionate about why you are changing you will change!
BE PREPARED for what is necessary to be successful. The difference between a successful person and one who isn't is ...one is willing to do the things that successful people do. So, what are you prepared to do? What will be required of you to be successful and are you ready to do it? Meditating is required to build concentration and relaxation and to visualize your life. Are you willing to do it? When? How long? How many times a day? Journalling is required to capture inspiration, and open to your inner intuitive voice. It is also proven that writing helps you retain information much, much better than any other medium. Are you willing to do it? You will be given assignments by any coach or therapist - are you only going to do the work while sitting with them or are you prepared to do the work assigned, on your own, and ask for help when you need it? Are you willing to be responsible for your life 100%? Some of your wounds from the past are creating blocks and obstacles are you willing to face them? Resentments are keeping you stuck are you willing to forgive? Blame is keeping you small are you willing to be accountable for your own actions? Staying in the past is stopping you from moving on are you ready to let go and move into the present? Do you need to learn a new skill are you willing to study? Are you trying to be physically healthy, will you exercise?
ACT ON IT TODAY whatever "it" is. Some of us can get caught in the study cycle. You can read self help books, listen to your coach, mentor, pod casts until the cows come home and ultimately still end up DOING nothing. Manifesting only happens when you are willing to do for yourself, and put into action a plan to get the want that you burn for. Choose one action that you can take today that makes sense toward your goal and DO IT. Maybe it is a signing up for a course, maybe it is contacting a coach, maybe it is booking a session, maybe it is making a call, or writing the first page of your blog or your book. It is something that will take you one step closer to your outcome.
I would absolutely love to know what you decided to do today. Please send me a comment or a picture of what action you take. If it is to contact a coach or book a session you can do that at: bennett.lifelearningstrategies@gmail.com
Have an extraordinary day. Much love and light,
Fiona