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Sexual Self-Care: Looks Different For Everyone by guest blogger Pamela Cameron, owner of Lovecraft

Tips for Sexual Self-Care

If you know me or my business Lovecraft (, you know that these are going to be unique self-care tips. But all kidding aside, sexual self-care is just as important as going to the spa or taking a meditation class!

Balance is Important

It is difficult to make time just for you, isn’t it? Whether we’re managing our kid's Zoom classroom, making a family dinner, rethinking how to do our job or trying to finish up our course work. Whatever it is, it is always so easy to say…I’ll attend to me later. The reality is that there will always be dinner to cook, Zoom meetings and who knows what else pulling at our attention. You deserve to be at the top of your list at least once a week for say 15 minutes? Can you take those 15 minutes and devote them to yourself?

Where does sexual self-care begin?

I know, I know, at first, the very idea of sexual self-care might feel a little scandalous or naughty. That discussion could be another blog altogether! But for now, let’s imagine, that we’ve gotten over the first hurdle and decided that yes, I would like to understand my body better. I’d like to know what feels good to me.

Firstly, remember what feels good to me might be different for you.

And I always say the fun is in the trying. You might not hit it out of the park initially, but with practice, you will. Honestly, just like anything else, sexual self-care takes practice.

Steps of sexual self-care

1. Be deliberate, pick a day and time to discover your body.

2. Do your research.

3. Treat yourself, make sure you have everything you need.

4. Commit.

Be Deliberate

Brava, you’ve made choice to be good to you. Next, think about when you can take some quiet time for yourself. Does this mean you might get up a little earlier on Sunday? Or perhaps go to bed a little earlier? Good, pick a time and day and stick with it. Develop a weekly habit. Allow yourself at least fifteen minutes to devote to yourself…you might want to add more but start with a minimum of fifteen minutes.

Research, Research, Research

Research doesn’t sound that sexy right? But if you take the time to figure out a simple plan, then your self-care will go smoothly. Sexual self-care can happen in a variety of ways. Do you like to read? Maybe erotic fiction might intrigue you. Are you more of a visual person, perhaps a movie might just do the trick? My favourite is a sex toy. Toys are fantastic ways to discover what you like, what you want to work on or what you want to explore further even with a partner. And trust me, you can get the job done in fifteen minutes or less! You might be tempted to stay longer!

Treat Yourself

If any of these ideas pique your curiosity, then you have a homework assignment (best homework ever). Look online for brands of sex toys that have good reputations, read the reviews (yes there are reviews). And keep in mind, what might interest you. Are you looking for external stimulation, well then you might want a specific toy for that? Is penetration more your area of interest, well then consider a silicone toy as they are nonporous, odourless, and come in fun colours, shapes, and sizes. Treat yourself to quality water-based, organic lubricant, great for toys and intercourse.


You’ve come this far, now what? Make a plan to be very diligent about your me-time for sexual self-care. It’s so easy to say, I’ll try again next week, but don’t do that to yourself. You’ve thought about a time that works for you, you’ve done your research and you’ve treated yourself to something special, so now just go for it. Remember, the more you explore, the more confident you will become.

If you are interested in more information or have more questions you can always send me an email ( Subscribe to our YouTube channel ( for instructional videos. Sign up for our newsletter ( to receive tips, sale notifications and product features.

Pam Cameron (she/her) is the owner of Lovecraft. Pam believes in sexual health and wellness and loves to share information on Sex Ed. In her spare time, Pam enjoys photography, practices meditation, and volunteers a lot!

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