Updated: Mar 21
What does it feel like to be stuck in life?
The idea of someone who is stuck in life might conjure up an image of an unsuccessful person, someone down on their luck but that is not necessarily true. Remember the old motto "don't judge a book by its cover." Outward appearances can be deceiving. Top executives, movie stars, women with fabulous looking families can feel stuck in life. Some describe it as a lack of motivation, boredom, impatience, or frustration. I felt a deep, in my bones sense of dissatisfaction and it bred guilt and shame. How could I feel this way? I had beautiful children, a loving partner, a good job, a home, food, friends. And yet I was not exactly unhappy, but unfulfilled.
Why do you feel stuck in your life?
There are some key reasons why I felt that way. Can you relate? I was:
not being honest with myself. There were things in my life that needed attention that I had been avoiding. I had negative energy from past hurts that created a lot of resentment and stuffed anger. I didn't realize the damage it had done until I got physically ill. It had been leaking out in irritability and judgment for years and eating away at me inside until finally, I had to pay attention. I had no choice.
blaming others: I thought that I was stuck because I had to take care of everyone else. I had children, a stepson, a partner, an elderly mom, a job and I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. I imagined myself in the shape of a pretzel trying to reach everyone's wants and needs: except my own. Yes, there is honour in meeting responsibilities but a lot of the things I was doing were completely unsolicited. They were my idea of what was "right" and what a "good mom/stepmom/partner/daughter/employee/friend" SHOULD do. I was playing the martyr and no one was thanking me for it, which of course pissed me off. I had no energy to do anything for myself because I had spent it all on everyone else.
waiting for life to come to me: funnily enough in real life, if you want something you have to go get it. No one comes and knocks on your door with an offer for a business that you have an idea of in your head. No one hands you a diploma you haven't studied for. No one builds your dream house and plunks you into it. I was waiting for other people to realize what I wanted, and for things to materialize.
missing what I already had: I spent too much time being sorry for myself and worrying about all the things that were missing from my life. Not planning my future in a positive way, but basically whining about what I didn't have. I was missing the forest for the trees. My focus was on lack and as long as that is the case there is no room for all the abundance that the Universe has already delivered or has in store. My life wasn't completely what I wanted but I had riches beyond my wildest dreams compared to my life just a few years prior and in comparison to some, I was the luckiest woman on earth, if only I could have eyes to see.
afraid of doing things differently: I was actually very lucky because I knew exactly what I should be doing. What I lacked was the courage to make a change. Even though I wasn't satisfied, I was afraid of doing things differently.
not connected to my purpose: I have always known that I had a heart to help women. When I wasn't living in alignment with that I wasn't connected to my soul purpose. Yes, I was making lots of money but I wasn't satisfied. I had to realize that I could do both. I had to trust that my purpose came from God and that I could be successful at it, I could make money, I could have the life I wanted AND help people.
Strategies to help yourself when you are feeling stuck
Everyone can go through periods of feeling unmotivated, bored, and frustrated. When you find that a few days, becomes more and now it is your way of being it is time to take stock and take control of the situation. You are the master of your own destiny, really! The first and most important step in getting un-stuck is making the conscious decision to be un-stuck.
"Man is buffeted by circumstances so long as he believes himself to be the creature of outside conditions, but when he realizes that he is a creative power, and that he may command the hidden soil and seeds of his being out of which circumstances grow, he then becomes the rightful master of himself." --James Allen
taking an honest inventory of yourself: our outer circumstances are a reflection of our inner selves. What is holding you back? Do you have things in your past that you have yet to resolve? Are you harbouring resentment, blame or negativity? As long as you are living in the past you will never feel right in the present or free to move boldly into the future.
make yourself a priority: tune into who you are and what your own needs and wants are. It is wonderful to give and when you are full, you will be able to give fully. First, give to yourself the care and attention Pay attention to people who are willing to take and people who are willing to give and take - you deserve to give and receive.
start doing the things that bring you joy: Just like Marie Kondo says Keep Only What Brings You Joy. Not just for around the house but for all aspects of your life. What makes you feel happy, energized, alive, and what makes you feel sad, depleted and drained? Create a list of the things that bring you joy and start doing at least one of those things every day. Keep adding to your list and doing more and more things that make you happy. Life is made up of a series of moment and they don't just happen - you make them happen.
be grateful for what you already have: Make an "attitude of gratitude" part of your day. You aren't yet where you want to be, ok, fair. But, take a look around you and there are many things that you already have and have accomplished to be sure. If you need some help getting started here's one: you are alive! Millions of people perished just in the last year. Do you have a loved one? Whether it is a person or a pet - is there someone in your life who loves you? Hallelujah! That is two for your list already. Keep going you are on a roll. If you have clothes, food, shelter, any form of transportation, a body that moves, breathes, sees, hears, speaks or any of the above you have much more than a huge portion of the population. Notice it, write it down. Every day take note of at least ten things you are grateful for. This one step will transform you.
tune into your intuitive voice: I was very fortunate that I knew what I wanted to do. Many people think they don't have a clue. In reality, you have been shown your purpose throughout your life. Now is the perfect time to tune in and start listening to the inner whisper, and watching for the picture that is painted on your soul. It is there for you to discover. No one has to invent meaning for themselves, you only need to uncover it. Ask yourself: if you believe in yourself what would you be doing? if anything was possible what would you want? You will get an answer. You might also hear another voice come up with all the reasons why it isn't practical or sensible or logical for you to dream your dream or want what you want. The first is your true intuitive voice, the second is your inner critical voice. Choose to turn up the volume on your intuition and mute your "Debbie Downer".
make a change: you don't need to eat the whole elephant in one sitting but you do need to start somewhere. Take a bite out of life. Make a list of all the things you want and organize them into: most important to me, important to me, and least important to me. Now prioritize the ones on your 'most important to me' list from most to least. Pick the one at the top of your list as your goal. This is now your number one priority and you are going to focus on it with all your heart and soul. Imagine your life with this in it: see it, taste it, feel it. What do you need to do to get this? Do one thing that moves you in the direction of achieving it. Just one thing today, and tomorrow and the next day takes you from being stuck to being successful.
I would be honoured to connect with you so you can free yourself from feeling stuck in your life. Email me to learn more email@example.com or book your free session today.
Much love and light,