"I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer."
—Jim Carrey, actor, Comedian, artist
I find myself once again working a lot. I love what I do; I get to help amazing women, beautiful souls rediscover their worth, so what could be better than that? It is intoxicating to witness a woman see her own light go from a glimmer to the brightest moonbeam right before my very eyes.
But, there is so much more than that to the business of coaching. I could spend all day and all night planning, writing, marketing, researching, invoicing, budgeting, etc., and the time I spend with my clients. I could be neglecting my own inner world and self-care at the same time as I preach its importance. I could burn out.
This is an old pattern re-emerging. Yes, I am a giver and healer. But, my ego also needs external validation, approval, and being busy, competent, and successful bring me a sense of safety.
Here's the thing. No matter how many people I help or how successful I get, it is not the answer.
The answer lies within. Until I acknowledge my own worthiness, I will not feel worthy; until I love myself unconditionally, I will not feel loved; until I accept myself, I will not feel accepted.
My head tells me I have done these things, and yet the proof is in the pudding, as they say. It is a process, and so finding myself again exhausted, I must go within and ask myself what I need? Here is what I heard: fun, you need to have more fun.
Life is not about working hard enough, doing enough, or being enough to prove you are good enough. It is time to stop measuring and weighing, planning every moment of your day. It is time to be more spontaneous, relax, and have some fun.
Is Having Fun Healthy?
I am not looking to go off the rails or fall down a rabbit hole. I still want to be productive and competent, and helpful in my life. I want to honour my values and stay in alignment with my integrity. So, I'm not looking to indulge in self-destructive behaviours or participate in anything that will hurt anyone else.
Healthy fun is respectful of me and others. For me, that means it might include a couple of glasses of wine, but it won't involve going on a bender. It will probably have a sexy night out with my partner but definitely won't include anyone else in the mix.
It also doesn't include anything dangerous. I'm not about to take up motorcycle racing or skydiving. Those might be things you have on your bucket list, but they are in the terrifying category versus fun.
How Can I Add Fun To My Life
There are some simple ways to integrate fun into my daily life that aren't going to violate any moral code or get me killed. See if any of them resonate with you too:
1. Make daily tasks into a party:
Marie Forleo talks about creating cooking, cleaning, lunch, puzzle parties @#bringtheparty . You don't need to invite anyone but yourself and the right attitude. Put on some music you love, dance in your kitchen, move your body, have a bevvie. Enjoy it.
2. Change your routine:
You get up, you work, you go to bed. No wonder you are bored to tears. Try something different today to change it up. A client of mine decided to keep her son home for the day, and they did "Sc,Sc,Science Day" together. They followed instructions in a YouTube video and made a volcano that bubbled all over just like it was supposed to. It was an excellent experience for both of them, and she said it was "wicked fun."
3. Go on an adventure:
This doesn't have to be an African lion safari, just get outside and explore. Go for a walk in your neighbourhood and look at it with the eyes of a tourist. I am lucky enough to have visited England with my partner, who is English. He lived just down the road from Stonehenge and had never been until we went together, had been to London dozens of times and never inside Westminster Abbey until we ventured in together.
4. Play like a child:
What are some of the things you loved as a kid? Blowing bubbles, hula hooping, skipping, marbles, hopscotch?
Do those things. Don't think about it so much; just be spontaneous and let yourself play without being good at what you are doing.
5. Sing Karaoke:
This is something I have only done once, and I was mega uncomfortable. I felt pressured by a group of people I didn't know and tried to fit in with. I am ready to try again now that my authentic self is awake. She wants to do karaoke without worrying about anyone else's opinion of her, but simply for the joy of it.
6. Play with a pet:
A lot of people have pandemic puppies. Are you making the most of them? They are desperate to play with you, to show you affection and unconditional love. Get up off the couch, away from your computer and go play with your pet.
Life isn't going to suddenly slow down, and stress isn't going to evaporate for you to do the things on this list. You need to choose, despite the busyness of life and the stress that you are feeling, to give yourself permission to be happy. It is up to you whether or are fully engaged in life or not.
A memorable life is made of moments that are worth remembering. Start today to create them.
If you are ready to create a life you love then the very first step is to find a coach that you trust and that is a good fit. Click this link for a FREE 30-minute consultation and let's explore the possibilities together.